Confessions of a "Stuck-Up Spelmanite" Pt. 2: Charity Dating

Hello, world wide web! As you can see, I was serious about my Confessions of a "Stuck-Up" Spelmanite series.

Have you ever dated or considered going out with a person who wasn't really on your level? Who didn't really deserve to be with you, but you figured you'd be the down-to-Earth person you are and give it a try anyway?

Let me just say, no one really deserves to be with you until they have proven his/herself worthy of you. But there is a such thing as dating people on your level. Being on your level has several dimensions: education, morals, religion/faith, future goals/plans, politics, etc.

But have you ever felt like being totally open to the idea of dating a person regardless of the differences between you two backfired? When a person dates a someone who is not on their level and that person acts up-- I call it an unfortunate case of charity dating. Save your accusations of snobbery and elitism-- it's true.

Today's Strange Social Phenomenon: "Charity Dating"

Situational Description: You are a smart, attractive college student with a seriously bright future. You're interested in an average-looking person who does not and doesn't plan to pursue any kind of higher education. You two met by chance; let's say at a library. You two start seeing each other consistently, but instead of appreciating that he is fortunate to go out with a beautiful, intelligent, goal-oriented woman, he acts like "he got it like that." Starts treating you like some average "chick" once he's figured out that you like him.

Solution: Like Nancy Reagan said, "Just say no." Just say NO to charity dating! People rarely appreciate you and it doesn't matter how lucky they are to have met or dated you. I think it's just easier and more realistic to look for some basic similarities in a potential partner. That way, if you're going to get played, at least you won't feel like, "Damn, I lowered my standards for your no-goal-having, opportunistic [expletive]!"Please date people on your level.

AND THIS JUST IN! Reggie Bush just came to his senses; he's figured out that charity dating is a no-no [usually, at least].

Rep: Kim Kardashian, Reggie Bush Split

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Confessions of a "Stuck-Up Spelmanite" Pt.1: The Female Once-Over

This is the first entry in my new series, "Confessions of a 'Stuck-Up Spelmanite" (A Spelmanite is a woman who attends/ attended Spelman College). This is basically my candid & relatable look into my thoughts about life as a presumed snob. Like many people, I've been labelled throughout most of my life. Sometimes nice, more not so nice, and some that leave me saying, "Uh, Thank You???"

For example, have you ever survived the social rite of passage that I call the "What I Thought When I First Met You" Ceremony? You know what I'm talking about... When someone finally figures out that you're a pretty cool, down-to-earth person instead of the stuck-up chick who "think she cute." You know those people-- they assume that they know everything about your character without ever holding a conversation with you. But once you're deemed "cool," then they spill all the beans about how stuck-up they initially thought you were. RANDOM PERSON: "You know what, Shana? You're really cool. Cuz I thought you were stuck-up at first!" ME: "Uh, Thanks?"

Gee, I'm soooo very happy that you decided to get to know me before you stamped me with "stuck-up" for all eternity!

Today's Strange Social Phenomenon: "The Female Once-Over."

Situational Description: You're walking down a city street to your job/internship. You're minding your own business, but you're walking with confidence (don't get it twisted). An anonymous female stares at you from head to toe (or vice versa), usually with a near-scowl on her face.

Solution: If you like my outfit or hair (which I didn't put that much effort into, by the way), please smile or nod. Otherwise, it just looks like you're giving me the death stare.

The Female Once-Over (aka The Death Stare)

v.

The "I Approve" Look (if you don't approve of another woman's outfit, just look away lol)

See the difference?