Dear American Idol[atry],
I hate you.
You might be wondering what has caused my sudden outburst. You want to know what set me off? Paula Abdul getting booted from-- excuse me; I mean, 'quitting'-- the show. You mean to tell me that the ONLY person that Americans have ever actually idolized on that show is getting the boot??
And, dear old American Idol[atry], I’ll have you to know that Paula Abdul looks damn good for her age! Simon and Randy are old too! Why don’t they get the boot? Oh, I forgot-- they’re men.
My Very Brief List of Grievances:
1. Ryan Seacrest
2. Simon is not American; why is judging American Idol?
3. Randy says “dog” and “dude” waaayy too much
4. The winners are arguably the losers (except for Carrie Underwood & Kelly Clarkson AFTER she cut all ties with American Idol[atry])
5. The theme song is loud, annoying & old
6. Ryan Seacrest
7. If Randy brags about working with Mariah Carey "one mo’ ‘gen…"
8. Simon just happens to find only young, attractive people to be talented
9. Simon’s Baby Gap tees
10. Simon’s haircut
11. Ryan Seacrest
12. Runner-up Adam Lambert’s sexuality was conveniently exposed via personal photos a week before the final vote
13. I still haven’t forgotten about the big fuss over Fantasia’s baby on the show (not that it was the judges faults or anything…I’m just sayin)
14. Can’t even count the number of times the REAL talent gets overlooked
15. Simon is not American; why is judging American Idol?
16. Ryan Seacrest
17. Paula Abdul, the only star on the show is 'quitting,' aka getting fired because she's not a spring chicken
18. Ryan Seacrest's salary. Are his spectacularly mediocre hosting abilities worth $5 million more than Paula’s bizarre judgements of people who have more singing abilities than she ever did?
19. Did I mention that no one really cares about the winners?
20. Ryan Seacrest
On behalf of all Americans who are sick of this never-ending nightmare of a show, American Idol, we hate you.
--Shana
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