ShanaSpeaks-->What's She Saying Now?!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

"Love ya, bitch!”

I know that got your attention. =) This is a phrase that I’ve heard on television and among my peers. So the million dollar question is: WHY?!? When did it become ok to call our “friends” by a derogatory word? The justification? **Imagine the most annoying teenybopper voice** “We use bitch as a funny term of endearment.” 
Well, I just find that extremely hard to believe. Let’s refresh on the definitions of the words “friend” and “bitch.”

a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

1 a female dog, wolf, fox, or otter.2 informal derogatory a woman whom one dislikes or considers to be malicious or unpleasant.

I notice that among young women, many of us have an inclination to be spiteful and divisive towards one another. We make enemies with people we know little about and then forget why we don’t like each other in the first place. What happened to the “Girl Power” that the Spice Girls talked about? (throwback, I know.) Today, I revisited a website especially made for teen girls. On the message board, there is post that encourages users to write a candid letter to a friend without mentioning his/ her name. Basically, write everything that you are too afraid to actually say to your friend. With over 60 letters, the post has had an overwhelming response. Many girls express their feelings of jealousy, dislike, and even hatred for people with whom they claim to be friends. It’s evident that many girls don’t really like each other after all.
**In her presence** “Love ya, bitch!”
**Behind her back** An anonymous letter to your “friend” on a website.
I do see how this exercise can help people release emotions that they’ve been harboring for awhile. However, I do not understand the amount of resentment we have towards people that we claim to care about and enjoy being around. Why are we being so mean to each other? Here’s some advice: If you do not like someone, do not hang out with that individual! It’s only going to make you dislike her even more. Duh! Do not pretend that everything is fine when your friend puts the moves on that guy you have a crush on! Stop pushing the label “best friend” on people and then getting upset when she/ he disappoints you! Give each other S-P-A-C-E! It’s not always that simple, but it’s a start.
**Sigh** Maybe it’s The Hills that got me going, but I just felt that I needed to address this air of hostility among girls and young women. So the next time you call your friend “bitch,” evaluate your relationship with this person. Do you really enjoy, trust and respect her? Does she deserve to be called a female dog? I mean, of all the words in the dictionary and the street, can you not think of anything more expressive of the way you feel about your friend?
^Real friends^


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